Two Bishies in a Tub
by Mel-chan-of-doom
Summary: Fuuma corners Kamui in a bathtub of feathers...really. Shounen-ai Fuuma kamui (duh)
1. Chapter One

Author Note: (dis is my first fic! BE NICE!)  
  
Title: Two Bishies In A Tub  
  
Disclaimer:X belongs to CLAMP, not me. If it DID belong to me it might end up too fluffy, so it may be a good thing ^.~  
  
=^__^=  
  
One morning at CLAMP campus school, Shirou Kamui woke up early to take a bath. So, he walked woozily into the room, took off all his clothes, made the author drool at the thought, and climbed into an already full bath.   
  
Once Kamui became less than half asleep he realized how incredibly odd it was for there to be an already full bath there. But, he was already in it so he felt it was okay. Then he noticed something else, the water looked a little too.white. It seemed to have an odd texture as well. Kamui reached into the water with his beautiful hand and pulled out a handful of feathers.  
  
"Weird." Kamui said aloud. But since Kamui was feeling much too lazy to get out and draw himself another bath he felt it would be better to stay where was. For some reason, although he would probably not mention this out loud, Kamui found the feathers strangely comfortable. He then decided it would be a good idea to look for the soap. He climbed halfway out of the bath to look around, unfortunately he had no luck, the soap was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Shit. Where the hell is the soap?!" he randomly half-shrieked aloud. He decided getting up early to take a bath while still half asleep was a pretty bad idea and not something he would plan on doing again.   
  
"Looking for this.?" A familiar and deeper voice said seductively.  
  
"What the.?!"  
  
"Ohayo, Kamui, would you like me to wash your back for you?" Fuuma stepped out from who knows where holding a bar of soap, wearing only a pair of very sexy black lace-up swimming trunks, a pair of his hot sunglasses, and a very suggestive smirk. Fangirls around the world at this moment drooled all over the keyboard, including the author. Kamui would have probably drooled too, but he was too tired and too scared out of his mind. All he could remember from Fuuma's last visit was lots and lots of broken glass, being pinned to the wall, and a major loss of blood. It's a miracle this guy hasn't died from blood loss yet.  
  
"AAAAAAH!!! What the hell are you doing here?!"  
  
"I'm just here to help you with your bath," Fuuma tried to sound innocent, but it didn't work very well, so he winked and smirked at Kamui some more.  
  
Kamui's instinct at first told him to climb out the tub and run away as fast as he could, but unfortunately for many of our fangirls reading, he remembered that this would be a bad idea (for him anyway) because he was not currently wearing anything, in case someone very stupid forgot.  
  
"Like the bath?" Fuuma asked cheerily, it sounded really creepy with his voice.  
  
Kamui actually pondered his answer for a moment. Strangely enough, he did like it, but no way in hell was he going to include that in his answer. Kamui began to question the symbolism in his mind for a moment, why did Fuuma stick feathers in his bathtub? Why not something else, like condoms?  
  
'Aaack! Condoms!' Kamui shook his head violently and grew angry at what thoughts the bath provoked. Kamui reached his hand in and pulled out a few feathers.  
  
"Why.feathers?" He was quite curious to hear Fuuma's answer.  
  
"Well," Fuuma began, "I am the Kamui of the Seven Angels first of all and I was going to put some broken glass in, yes.that would have been fun. But then I discovered that if I put broken glass in, I may have a harder time getting in with you." He smirked again.  
  
Kamui shivered noticeably and knew that this was NOT going to be a good day.  
  
Fuuma did not bother to waste any time, he didn't even bother to climb into the bath, he jumped in. Jumping in caused more problems for Kamui of course, for he got splashed and ended up looking sexier all wet, even with the random feathers which landed on his head. Poor Kamui, he couldn't run, then he'd be flashing Fuuma. Not that Fuuma or thousands of fangirls would mind.   
  
  
  
Fuuma rushed very close to Kamui and cornered him quickly. Kamui saw this coming, but there was no way he'd let Fuuma see his naked behind. Fuuma is of course much larger than Kamui.so Kamui really couldn't move.  
  
"So.," Fuuma began," You are so lucky, you get a choice on what we do. We could have some fun or fight."  
  
Kamui shuddered. "In that case, I think we're going to have to fight- except.my sword's in my room." He hoped Fuuma hadn't brought his.  
  
"Dammit! I left mine with my jeans on the windowsill outside!" Kamui tried very hard not to giggle.  
  
"I guess our only option is fun then." Fuuma rushed into an extremely suggestive position (remember that picture with the wall, people?). Kamui did the only thing he could do. Scream for help. Loudly.  
  
Kamui ended up shrieking. Amazingly enough, a lot of people heard him. Suddenly the rest of the seven seals plus Nokoru, Suoh, and Akira came rushing into see what was going on. Everyone stopped to gape at the sight of two really hot guys in a tub in a very suggestive pose courtesy of Fuuma. Kamui turned the color of a tomato and couldn't imagine the Promised Day being any worse than this.  
  
The first to regain the ability of speech and reason was Suoh,"No! Not here!"  
  
  
  
"C'mon Suoh! You know we did something similar to this once.remember that day when-" Suoh quickly clamped his hand over Nokoru's mouth and turned as red as Kamui. Everyone actually took their attention off of Kamui and Fuuma for a moment.  
  
  
  
Karen began to giggle at Kamui and Fuuma's position. Subaru had completely lost the ability to speak. Arashi just stared. Seiichirou was the first to remember what a good idea NOT exposing Yuzuriha to this was. She was still staring and gasped. He could have sworn he heard her mutter under her breath, " Wow.they are really cute together." Seiichirou quickly rushed to cover Yuzuriha's eyes. Karen rushed to put hers to cover his. Sorata rushed to put his over hers, shortly after he screamed,"WHOAH!" Yuzuriha tried to pull their hands down to get a better look then gave up after realizing three pairs of hands were there and her attempts would be in vain.  
  
"HELP!" Kamui shrieked again. Arashi's sword zoomed out of her hand, a little ball of fire appeared in the palm of Karen's hand, Seiichirou would have gotten ready to summon some wind, but he was too busy shielding Yuzuriha's eyes; Sorata was [sort of] ready to electrocute something. Inuki was sniffing Yuzuriha's pocket. Yuzuriha's eyes were still covered. Subaru didn't chant or take out any ofuda, he still stared - the sight was making him blush. He felt lucky no one noticed.  
  
Fuuma almost meeped. That could destroy his image. He left his sword on the windowsill along with his jeans. The he remember two very, very important things:  
  
1: He could still blow things up anyone with his energy blasts. Ahh, the power of being a Kamui.  
  
2: Kamui was still naked!  
  
Both triggered a homicidal smirk. Fuuma suddenly got bored. This wasn't as fun as he thought it would be since everyone walked in on him and he didn't have any broken glass on him to stick through Kamui so there really weren't any blood or tears to lick. It seemed kind of strange to even try to break skin with feathers.   
  
So, he got out.   
  
Getting out cause problems, especially because of Fuuma's ability to look like whoever. Subaru suddenly saw someone who looked a lot like Seishirou getting out of the bath in a pair of really sexy swim trunks. Subaru, and thousands of fangirls (including the author) began drooling again. Sorata saw this and decided to wave his hand in Subaru's face. Poor Subaru, he was suddenly rushed back into the harsh reality of a world without Seishirou in sexy lace- up swimming trunks.   
  
Everyone stared at Fuuma's extremely dramatic leave which involved...walking out and climbing through a window. Karen secretly wished more of her clients looked like him. And many already know what Subaru wished. Yes, Fuuma can see wishes, but he was too busy to at the moment. Once Fuuma left and everyone had stopped glazing over and recovered, Seiichirou threw Kamui a towel.   
  
Kamui was still red and would have been traumatized if he wasn't so much already. Kamui was left to recover. As if he ever does.  
  
A few days later, Subaru woke up early to take a bath. Once he got there, he found a bath that was already full and looked slightly pink. Since being half-asleep made him a tad lazy he just climbed in. Once he got in, he realized the bath was full of sakura petals. Subaru knew in an instant that this bath would take longer than expected...  
  
~Owari(?)~ 


	2. Chapter Two

 A/N: I'll be honest, I really was NOT going to continue this. After my first review said it was … sexy (thank u to whoever sent any reviews btw ^__^ I luv all who did 3) I felt ashamed for some reason and couldn't stop blushing for 15 minutes straight. I blush too easily…remind you of anyone? ^.~ The chibi Sei-chans in my head made me continue! Oooh, every time I leave the computer for 5 minutes, my Tokyo Babylon screensaver goes up. Sorry—random. Anyways, here's the next part. There probably won't be one after this because:

1). I'm out of X yaoi couples (that I luv as much)! AAAAAH!!! I wouldn't do a Kamui/Subaru one. I don't like that pairing much

2). School = evil. 'nuff said.

Now…I'll stop rambling aimlessly!

Disclaimer: X is Clamp's. NOT MIIINE.

A few days later, Sumeragi Subaru woke up early to take a bath. Once he got there, he found a bath that was already full and looked slightly pink. Since being half-asleep made him a tad lazy he just climbed in. Once he got in, he realized the bath was full of sakura petals. He knew exactly what this meant, he wasn't a fool. He was just wondering when Seishirou was going to show up. Only half of him was excited. Then, he remembered something very important: THE BASTARD KILLED HIS SISTER. Applaud almighty Subaru for the reality check. Alarms went off in the adorable omyouji's head saying," time to get outta the friggin' bathtub before Seishirou-san gets here!" So he listened. Just then, the author closed her mouth when she realized her tongue was hanging out at the image of Subaru getting out of bathtub. Thousands of fangirls around the world did the same. 

            Subaru, being the masochist he is, was ready to do some horrible things to himself. Why? There was no towel to put on!  Was he so spaced out that he forgot to bring one? He tried searching a little but all he found was some sakura scented soap, lubricant, and a bowl of strawberries by the tub. How the hell did he miss those?!  Scratch the lubricant, he hallucinated that. That left the soap and the strawberries. Everyone leaves a bowl of strawberries by a bathtub full of sakura petals—every "romantic," creative, and seductive assassin that is. Right? 

            "How about I dry you off, Subaru-kun?" said a captivating voice from the corner. Whoa, no one saw that coming! "Or would you prefer a back massage?"

            SPLASH! Subaru was back into the bath. "W-what are you doing here?!" He asked after shuddering. 

            "I just said why I was here."

            "Fuuma was here a few days ago, this isn't very creative."

            "He was here?! With you?!?!" Seishirou's tendency to be possessive isn't exactly subtle, especially then.

            "No!" Subaru was disturbed by the images appearing in his head once he said that. "With Kamui! Fuuma was with Kamui! In here, this bathtub, filled with feathers. . ."

            Seishirou then decided this conversation would be better if he could see Subaru, so he came out of wherever he was. Although he looked really hot as usual, the author prayed that everyone reading would suppress their urges to throw bananas at the computer screen because he was wearing his usual suit and not swimming trunks. Subaru and all Seishirou fangirls on the planet probably booed,(Subaru wouldn't admit to it out loud though) sending the author on a brief but very intense guilt trip. 

            Seishirou went back to being angry and surprised, so much for the whole no-emotion thing," the dark Kamui took my idea?!?! I can't take this anymore! I'm going to feed him to the tree! First it's copying my style, now this…!"

            "Where did you get this idea anyway?"

            "Tokyo Babylon doujinsh- I mean, what does it matter, Subaru-kun?"

            "Fuuma was in swimming trunks." Yay, Subaru! He won there. So what was "poor" Seishirou-san to do? When all else fails, eat strawberries. 

            Subaru suddenly remembered he was supposed to try and get out of this situation. He wondered if screaming for help would do anything at all. Little did he know how much it involved, with tearing Yuzuriha from her secret stash of Lawful Drug manga and asukas, Karen from shamelessly flirting with Seiichirou (in lingerie of course), and Kamui trying very hard not to be afraid of the bathtub, although he was dreading his next bath more than the Promised Day. 

            Once Seishirou finished eating strawberries like there was no tomorrow and Subaru finished with watching him with a look like a starving dog being deprived of steak, Seishirou crept over and began massaging Subaru's back. Oh, no ulterior motive, right? People, this is Seishirou. 

            ". . .What are you doing?"

            ". . .What do you think I am doing, Subaru-kun? I'm giving you a massage. You're very tense."

            The mantra in Subaru's head went something like this: "I will not respond…I will not respond…I will not respond…"

            Needless to say, Subaru and Seishirou fangirls around the globe were amused and cheering, watch out for the confetti!

            Then, the world ended. Well- not quite, but close enough to it. Seishirou stopped massaging. Subaru was obviously the first to notice. The quick halt rushed him into his harsh reality once again.

            ". . .Why'd you stop?"

            "I need to go."

            "WHAT?!" See, we all knew Subaru was thoroughly enjoying that. 

            "I need to feed the tree. It's telling me it's hungry. I'll be back soon."

            Subaru stopped himself from shrieking and asking Seishirou whether the tree was more important than _him._ He knew he could have thrown in a really cute pout too, but it was no use.

            "I'll be back…" Then he left.

            Hell broke loose after Subaru's apocalypse.

 "Subaru!! Hurry up! I need to shower for my date with miss Arashi tonight! Let me in dammit! It's been an hour! I'm gonna be late! Do you want me to break the door down?!" It was Sorata. Why, oh why did Sorata have to shower right now?! 

"I'm still not done yet!" Applaud Subaru's quick thinking abilities to stall. They'll last long. Really. 

"Geez, Subaru! How long does it take you to shower?! I'm gonna call Aoki!"

Subaru knew if he didn't surrender the room now, things could only get worse. How long would Sorata take to shower anyway? Surely he could finish before Seishirou returns. . .right? Ladies and gentlemen, we see an example of wishful thinking presented from our lovely Subaru. We do not see this often, ne?

Okay. . .one sec. Subaru picked up the towel, too careless to move the strawberries or other romantic items from the bath. Very, very bad idea. He let Sorata in. Of course, the first things he noticed were the strawberries in a bowl by the bath and the bath full of pink petals. Sorata raised one eyebrow at him. Subaru knew he had to think fast,"It's an herbal petal therapy bath and. . .I was hungry."

"Right. . .ever watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy…?..." Sorata babbled aimlessly until Subaru closed him into the room. 

"Don't want you to be late for you date! Hurry!!!"

Subaru was dying. He had spent the last three minutes pacing back and forth in front of the door to the room. Needless to say, he was attracting attention from people in the halls who walked by. 

We all know Subaru has bad luck, it only got worse around here. Soon enough he heard a scream coming from the bathroom. Sorata flung the door open wearing a towel and an extremely distressed expression upon his face.

"There's a dragon of earth in there!"

"I'll take care of him!" Yes, Subaru is smart and well…he does have his own special way of taking care of him. He walked back into the bathroom and closed the door. Seishirou looked surprised.

"Did you send him in your place…?"

"No, he threw me out, I'm sorry…"

"It's fine…back to where we were…"

Subaru was sure to lock the door. . .

. . .

Fourty-five minutes later, Subaru came out of the bathroom, blushing and looking for pleased with himself than he had in his entire life. The author chose for the readers to imagine what happened. We all already know though, right?

~Owari~

LONG LIVE YAOI!!!!!


End file.
